My Faith Vs. My Fibromyalgia
Be Patient With Me
I have had an idea for some time. This idea seems silly, but I wish I had the fruits of it already at my fingertips. This idea may be a God thing, and maybe it isn't, but I'll figure that out as I go. I ask that you are patient because I have no idea how to do this, but I feel like it needs to be done. I may not do it all the way you would, or the way it should be done, but I hope that in this process I am able to help someone.
First, I want to give this disclaimer: I am not a writer, I am not a perfectionist, I am not a literary snob, I am just a woman battling something she doesn't understand and trying desperately to make those she loves understand it at the same time. I know so many are in that same boat. Things are happening to your body that you don't understand, or that you haven't attributed to this unique "thing" we all have. The more I dig, the more I see that in most cases, it is part of this puzzle called Fibromyalgia we are all figuring out.
So, When you see words out of place or type-o's, please understand that I do not really care. Well, I do, but I don't. I will try my best to catch and correct, but I'm gonna miss some. :-) And if you have Fibromyalgia and have experienced that wonderful thing known as "The Fog", you will realize that even the most intelligent people have those days where it places a cloud over your brain that stifles and confuses even the most basic tasks.
Another thing, I am not here to have a heated, argumentative,philosophical debate. Please do not make this a Christian vs. Non Christian thing... This is not the place for it. The purpose of this is to tell you how I am dealing with this syndrome and my faith. Please keep your comments focused on what this is and not what you are trying to make it. I don't mind questions, and I certainly don't mind if you disagree with me! I love discussing different viewpoints, but I will not argue or tolerate hate talk.
My idea for this is simple, I want to let you know what I have found out about this syndrome. I want you to see that you are not alone. I called this My Faith Vs. My Fibromyalgia because it has been a battle between the two. I was at a point where I was ashamed to have people pray for me because I wasn't healed the last twenty-seven times they prayed for me. Constantly I had to fight these notions that, "My faith wasn't strong enough." or "I just needed to get real with God." I'm still battling these things, and I know that there are some of you, whether you are Christian or not that feel like you are to weak or just plain stupid because you can't get over this "imaginary" disease.
I want to instill two truths that I have to force down my throat on a regular basis.
1. This is real. Fibromyalgia is not fake. It's not a lazy person's disease. You are not a hypochondriac or just too sensitive to pain. It is real. Whether you have it or not is not for me to decide, but if you have been diagnosed with it, it's time to move ahead and tackle this head on as a reality in your life. People with cancer or diabetes, or strep throat don't talk down about themselves because they can't cure it or believe it away. It's time we stop allowing others to tell us how we feel and start focusing on what will make us feel better.
2. God did not put this on you. He is not punishing you for some past transgression. I have plenty, and I will be open with some of mine later, but I am still assured that He has forgiven every sin that I have given to Him. The bible tells us that He threw them into the sea of forgetfulness, and in the world we live in... He doesn't have to add to any of the troubles it already tosses on us. Psalm 103:12 "And as far as the sunrise is from the sunset, he has separated us from our sins." The Message.
3. We are all different and we are affected in different ways. Some may find a cure, some may not. One thing may work for you and not for me. You may find that rubbing raw onions all over your body every night was a miraculous cure, but it may not work for Jane over there, and that is OK. This thing called Fibro is a monster and like any monster, it has different ways of getting to each of us.
I want you to share as well, and together we can make finding the answers and filling in the blanks a little easier. In my search, I find a list of symptoms here, and another there with things that were not on the first. One website has this, and another that. My hope is to encourage you through seeing my trials and triumphs and help you with compiling all the information I find.
Be blessed and I hope I am able to enlighten and assist you in some way.